Week 6: Spoof News Story

(This is a spoof news story playing off stereotypes and does in no way describe my view of events involved.)

Canada To Be 'Water Boy' Of Campaign Against ISIS

     It is no secret that the scale of Canada's Armed Forces does not match that of the United States, but Stephen Harper won't let that hold him back. With the reality our smaller Airforce and bickering cabinet Obama seeks to cut his losses and move forward in the campaign against ISIS without Canadian support. After hearing this, an upset Harper pleaded and cried to the Americans, begging them for more time to sort his mess. A tearful Harper said to reporters "But...but...I just want to help and be able to fight like the big boys!"

"...fight like the big boys"

     However, Obama stood fast in his urgency to move forward. Being given only 1 day to put forth Canada's stance on the campaign, Harper refused to sit on the sidelines like a young boy who hasn't quite made the team. Instead Harper has chosen to succumb to the opposition party, and play the "water boy" role in the campaign. "It's better than sidelining the whole event" stated Harper in a press release. 

     Canada has agreed to refill American food and water supplies while they bomb ISIS into obliteration, as well as send aid to refugees and civilians caught in the conflict. This decision has come much to the joy of President Obama who said "I can't believe they're done slowing us down and have decided to do something useful for once." It comes at no ones surprise that the aging CF-18 jets that Canada carries aren't up to par, leading the U.S. to adopt this view.

     ISIS, who have been challenging the world record for 'Most 21st Century Beheadings Without Major Consequence' have yet to comment on this latest development. Experts predict the conflict to be over by the time the U.S. control 30% of Iraqi oil reserves. Canada however, has agreed to receive none of these benefits for their role in the campaign. At least we won't look like wimps to the Americans.
   

October 6th 2014